I'm sorry for the bitterness in my house. It was good to see you last night, it's been too long. I'm sorry that my food was inedible but I hope you enjoyed the pizza we got. You seemed very eager to leave my apartment. I understand. I was too. I spent all day cooking and everything I made had a strange, off-taste to it. It was very peculiar. Do you remember how whenever Mom made eggs, you and Owen and I would say we weren't hungry, but when Dad made them we'd be late for school cause we always had to have them? I feel bad now, but at the time it was funny. See you soon.

Hi Marie, how are you doing? I just wanted to write since you seemed in agreement about the weird tastes. I've been home all day and licking all my cups, funnily enough. I'm glad I live alone since if I came home to a roomate licking every cup and mug I'd probably think they were a soviet sleeper agent trying to spread a Russian virus, ha ha. But seriously, every other cup in my house has the "bitterness." It's kind of weird, I'll be halfway through a coffee and I just feel like I drank out of the sink drain. Gross, right? And It's not a bitterness like black coffee or that spray we used to use when Gracie kept chewing on the furniture, it's like a raw bitterness. You know how when you think of sweetness, "raw" sweetness would be the taste of sugar? "Raw" sourness - Lemon juice? "Raw" savory-ness, salt? I guess this taste is raw bitterness. It's on half of my cups and I've just been drinking water right out of the sink! Haha. Sorry to write so much about this. Do you want to get drinks? There's a nice bar right down 4th Ave.

Hi Marie! I talked to the landlord like you said. I'm not really friends with my neighbors, but I spoke to someone I kind of knew and she said that all her cups were fine. You should've seen the look on her face when I said I did the licking cups experiment. Hahaha. Anyway, no one else seems to have this issue. The landord said he'd send a plumber because maybe it's the sink or the pipes or something. But it's not, at least I don't think it is. Because the water that comes out of the pipes is fine. I switched dish soaps, washed all my dishes twice, and then made a fried egg. I couldn't even take two bites. I'm not a person averse to bitter tastes. I love dark chocolate, I had some in a stash under my bed. I took a bite. I threw up. Weird, right! I thought: maybe it's the air? Maybe there's mold or something? I took the chocolate bar outside my apartment, had another bite. Same result. I swear to God I love that chocolate brand. I'm gonna have to try this all scientific-like. Maybe we can investigate this together?

Marie, thank you so much for coming over and helping. I've scanned my notes and I'll attach them to this e-mail so maybe you can go over them yourself. I had this thought then but I didn't have the courage to say it, cause I know we both don't really like talking about it. But do you remember going to church after what happened with Owen, and Father William talking to us and Mom and Dad, and you were crying and we all were crying. But I remember not even being there, being present. I remember I was so utterly disconnected all I could think of was that everything smelled blue. It smelled blue. I don't really know what that meant. I just focused on that thought, because I don't even know where it came from. Maybe I meant to think "It felt blue" as in "It was sad?" But somewhere I got my wires crossed. That's like it is here, in my home. Somewhere the world got its wires crossed and now it smells purple. Tastes purple. That's how I put it, you asked me what that meant and I couldn't say until now. Sorry if this seems out of nowhere. I don't really know how to end this e-mail.

I had a thought last night. I haven't been eating and it makes it really hard to sleep. I used to be really into reading about the Chernobyl accident in Ukraine. The firefighters didn't know what they were exposed to, a lot of them died. So many went to the nearby hospital with acute radiation poisoning, and the doctors and nurses there had them remove their gear. The gear was all put into the hospital's basement because it was just so contaminated. It's still there and it's still radioactive. Its danger is completely invisible. I bought a geiger counter and some water test strips. Can you come over today?

I think we're making progress on this. Not radiation, not biological, not... mold. Also, I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday. But I am not leaving my home. I like this apartment, it's afforable, it's in a nice part of town, there are hardly any rats, and I just don't see a reason to leave. And I'm not leaving until we figure out what this is. When you go back to Colorado I'll figure it out myself. I know you're worried about me but I'm fine, I've been eating at a $1.50 pizza down the road and a deli so I'm fine. I have a case of bottled water outside my apartment. I go outside to drink water. Every time I'm inside I feel the bitter film on my tongue, it numbs my lips like novacaine which is a funny feeling. 

Hi Marie. Goodbye Marie. I hope you enjoy Colorado I'm going to keep sending you notes. The sandwich you got me on Sunday was bitter. It was green, and orange, and brown. It was green-bitter, instead of green-savory, or green-sweet. And I told you to never ever bring green bitter inside my apartment, and you almost got us killed. I had to yell at you again because I can't risk it being green and purple, it'll get worse. I can't risk it being brown and purple, we don't know what'll happen. 

I leave all my food out. It all still smells purple. the rats won't go near it. i kicked one to death, it just gave up and died. it didn't feel it because it was covered in the film but its blood was red, strangely. just gave up the ghost. this room won't give up the ghost. I've been searching my apartment for the last week the rooms are filled with purple almost to the brim and sometimes i can find a corner with air all dusty and black, and brown, and orange, and green, and all the things trying to get in fight with the colors that don't want to see them ever again even though they used to be so close

You've been calling it a ghost. It's not a ghost, it's like a leak. a leak. from the ceiling that we cant see. it's from a bad angle that we can't ever ever ever look at. i haven't eaten an d i havent lef tmy house, I can't let it get out. because my water got stolen and i clogged hte sink and i turend off all the lights. i've been drinking out of the tap and washing it down with detergent and dishsoap just like i said. i shattered all my cups and plates on the ground and i broke my britta and i've been crushing coffee beans with the steel toe boots you got me in 2008. I cut open my tongue with a shard of ceramic and my blood tastes purple, it's all purple and blue and bitter because the film's all over everything here, it's all over everything here